As former Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s petition calling for a Royal Commission into the Murdoch Media Monopoly edges towards half a million signatures, the attack dog has been released.

Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton has come out in defence of Rupert Murdoch and the 70% of the Australian media market he owns today, in what can only be described as a way of giving thanks for their help paving the way to his failed leadership challenge against Malcolm Turnbull in 2018.

Dutton has come forward today with explosive allegations linking Kevin Rudd with the 2018 strawberry contamination crisis.

“It was all Kevin Rudd” said the Member For Dickson, in what can only be viewed as a returned favour for the Murdoch Empire’s success in repositioning the offshore torturing of war-weary brown families into an island holiday for terrorists who want to behead hardworking Australians.

The convenient leaking of this story is reminiscent of the time Kevin Rudd was photographed by Murdoch paparazzi as he was entering a strip club in New York, after being invited to said strip club by the former Daily Telegraph editor Col Allan, who had told him it was a bar, in the lead up to the 2007 Federal election – which he won.

However, Dutton insists there is no agenda behind his comments.

“This has nothing to do with Mr Rudd’s insolent petition or his betrayal of our political caste”

“This has nothing to do with his arrogant calls for balanced and fair political reporting from the fourth estate”

“I only bring this up because I just remembered it this morning when my driver was drinking a pungent Strawberry Oak on the way to golf”

“I don’t know why I didn’t bring this up when this needles in the strawberries was the biggest story in the Australian news cycle. I must have been too busy torturing those toddlers from Biloela”

“But yea, I saw Kevin Rudd poking needles into fruit down there at Rocklea Markets in 2018”

When asked why he was even visiting the fruit and vegie markets deep in Rudd Country on Brisbane’s South Side, Dutton says he was there because Morrison had sent down there to observe the working class people.

“Yeah forget why I was there. The real issue is that Kevin was there. Trying to ruin the lives of farmers for the fun of it”

Likewise, NewsCorp’s jackboots say that it’s just a coincidence that their entire stable of Australian newspapers and TV reporters were on hand to plaster Dutton’s comments everywhere they could. Just like they did with the series of stories linking Kevin Rudd to Jeffrey Epstein, the formation of ISIS, and now the early clusters of coronavirus, all which came out on the same day.

A spokesperson for the Murdoch family says that this strategic barrage of hit-pieces have absolutely nothing to do with the nearly 500,000 signatures that Kevin Rudd has amassed on his petition calling for a Royal Commission into the Murdoch Family’s influence over our nation’s politics through their impenetrable ownership of a vast majority of Australian print and television which helps their chosen conservative representatives to pass anti-renewable policies for Gina and rush through corporate tax cuts that help protect the 450 billion dollar trust fund waiting for the Murdoch children when Daddy dies.



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