Both the Nationals and the Liberals are today meeting in Canberra to decide the leadership of each party, as the Coalition begins preparing to for their long 3-year march to winning back government from the Mad Left.

Peter Dutton is the only Liberal MP to announce they will challenge for the party leadership, which many political analysts would say is a weird decision, given how poorly he is received by the same suburban mums that only voted Labor because they didn’t have a Teal candidate.

The fact that Dutton is the only MP throwing his hand up perhaps says more about the state of the party’s collective self-esteem – after losing 20 seats at the Federal Election last week. Only a former Queensland Highway cop would be willing to endure the humiliation of spending an entire political term in opposition, as the leader of what is now effectively a minor party.

As many expected, three MPs have said they will contest the leadership of the Nationals Party. Darren Chester, the nice-guy-Nat from Malacoota, David Littleproud the moderate Nat from Betoota, and Barnaby Joyce the volatile coal mining Nat from Walcha.

As the only political party that didn’t lose a seat, it is not know why the Nationals are so keen to fix something that isn’t broke.

However, it seems that if they want to continue this whole ‘coalition’ thing, they better take into account the fact that the inner-city elites that lost their jobs as Liberal MPs are now blaming their slack-jawed rural cousins in the Nats for the demoralising election loss – rather than at their own backyard and perhaps analysing the fact that they let their party get hijacked by suburban Hillsong lunatics.

Apparently, the Nationals now want to focus on how they are gonna deal with this whole climate change thing, and some other shit yada yada yada.

With Peter Dutton’s new role as leader of the opposition all but confirmed, the soon-to-be-leader of the Liberals has today popped by Barnaby Joyce’s office to wish him luck.

“All the best today, mate” says the Spud.

“Thanks mate” says the Beetroot.

“It’ll be tough in there today, but here’s hoping I can keep the numbers.”

The Spud sighs.

“Yeah. I hope so mate. I reckon we’d work well together”

“Like a good roast dinner”


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