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Former Prime Minister Uncle Tony X has today been left with a bitter taste in his mouth, after his confidante, 2GB shock jock Alan Jones refused to cooperate with his pleas to use the Sydney Opera House as a billboard to highlight the shocking overrepresentation of his mob.

“Come on, cuz” said the newly-appointed Special Envoy to Indigenous Affairs.

“I’m just drum up some more headlines. It’s pretty hard when Morrison sends me out bush every second week in this made-up role”

“Look at these numbers. They’re fucked up”

Alan Jones, while visibly disturbed by the 2016 census results, refused to do Uncle Tony X any favours.

“You know I can’t do that, Unc” said Alan Jones.

“That’s won’t be helping anything. That’ll be about as helpful as giving a blueblood Northern Beaches MP the Special Envoy to Indigenous Affairs job after he’s been working in the Liberal Party for thirty years

At 30 June, 2016, the Aboriginal and Torres Strait imprisonment rate (prisoners per 100,000 Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander population): increased from 2,253 at 30 June, 2015 to 2,346. The non-Indigenous imprisonment rate increased from 146 to154 prisoners per 100,000 non-Indigenous population.

These numbers have reportedly shocked Uncle Tony X to his core, as he continues his radical transformation into black nationalist politics.

In a whirlwind month that has seen Uncle Tony X experience racial profiling, incarceration himself, and a prison yard conversion to Islam. Getting these statistics projected onto the Sydney Opera House, means the world to him. But his brother cousin Alan won’t budge.

“I know I owe you a few favours, but this isn’t happening mate” said Jones.

“Now tell me more about this nephew of yours? You reckon he could play Wallabies?”

Ironically, The Betoota Advocate Roadshow will be touring the nation this November, finishing with a live performance at the Sydney Opera House on December 1st. If you are interesting in joining us for an amazing evening of culture and art. Go here: www.betootaadvocate.com/roadshow 

 

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