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A sharehouse in Betoota’s Flight Path District is still coming to terms with the unconscionable actions of their new housemate this morning, less than 12 hours after he felt the need to tell them to ‘shush’ on his first night in the place.
38 Capillary Drive, also known as ‘The Kennel’ is verging on it’s 7th year of hosting degenerate, piss-cutting, bachelor tenants on a rolling lease. There’s been a few females come in and out of this house too, but they are mostly just short-lived girlfriends who are enjoying the excitiment of slumming it in a bender pad.
However, as of very early this morning, it seems the fun times might be over.
This comes as the residents of the Kennel were met with the first ever ‘Shush’ that didn’t come from a boomer neighbour.
Stefan Brock is a 27-year-old med student who has moved into the house after finding it advertised on the ‘Inner BETOOTA Housemate Finder’ Facebook group.
While it is not rare for outsiders to move into this sharehouse, it’s usually not long before they too join in on the hedonism and become proud members of the Kennel alumni.
But it seems Stefan has no interest in unbridled binge drinking and cannabis. This is DESPITE the fact that on his housemate application, he made it clear that he ‘loved a good time as much as the next bloke’.
With uni exams around the corner and a big shift today working as an orderly at Betoota Base Hospital, Stefan felt the need to tell his brand new housemates to turn off UE boom and keep their voice down at 2am this morning.
His behaviour is unprecedented.
Bomber, a veteran of the Kennel, cannot believe his ears.
“Sorry. What?” he asks, after turning down the blaring ASAP Ferg.
“What did you say?”
Stefan confidently replies.
“Can you keep it down boys. It’s Tuesday night”
The entire backyard goes deathly silent, as the boys attempt to process this informationm.
“Oh he’s taking the piss!” shouts Kalepo, another big dog of the Kennel, before all four of the drunken housemates burst into laughter.
Stefan wasn’t joking, but it seems it’s too late to clarify that, as his new housemates begin praising his apparently cracking sense of humour.
“Fuck you had us going for a while there. Someone pack this cunt a billy” roars Bomber.
“Haha fuck Stefan. Oh come one Stefan. Where are ya going. Don’t be a sook”
“Come join us ya sicko haha”