The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are breathing a sigh of relief today, as the Israel Folau saga takes the most cringeworthy turn yet.

As of this morning, the multimillionaire tri-code footballer has launched a crowd-funding campaign to raise a $3 million target, to help cover his $150,000 to fight Rugby Australia over the termination of his contract for continuously posting homophobic vitriol on social media.

Folau, a staunch Pentecostal Christian who converted from the Mormon church around about the time where most young men would have to sacrifice a year to go on a missionary service – is not yet aware how relieved his former congregation is to have seen him go.

As it stands, the Mormon Church only truly opposes homosexual activity when it is performed outside of wedlock, meaning that gay Australian Mormons are now officially allowed to get freaky following the 2017 same-sex marriage plebiscite result.

High-ranking LDS figures say that in hindsight, losing the confidence of Israel Folau was the best thing that happened to them. Especially now that the ex-Wallaby’s fundraising efforts are starting to shoot past the crowdfunding campaigns set up to help terminally ill children.

“We’ve definitely avoided a lot of PR work” said one Mormon leader, Father Dawe-Nocker.

“Our sports stars are good boys. Like Ben Hannant and young Hopoate”

The pastor then went on to clarify he was only talking about Will Hopoate.

“Anyway” he said.

“Isn’t Folau with ScoMo’s church now?”

“Jeez I hope these social media posts aren’t indicative of our Prime Minister’s beliefs as well”


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