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Chelsea Stevens has decided she’s had enough with drama.
Known for posting statuses about how you think you know someone and deactivating her Facebook at least once a month, Chelsea has come to the conclusion that the root cause of all her problems are ‘toxic people’.
In a bid to remove all drama from her life, Chelsea has culled her friend list to a meagre 1,500, and removed herself from all group chats.
“I think people need to realise that we’re not in high school anymore and that sort of behaviour is not on,” says Chelsea, “like tell it to my face instead of talking behind my back, you know?”
Chelsea has also opted to spend more time with her male friends, who she met last weekend at Rics, than go clubbing with the usual gal pals. Though half of them are playing the friend card in a bid to get into her pants, Chelsea seems either entirely oblivious or doesn’t mind the self esteem boost.
“Guys are so much easier because there’s no drama,” says Chelsea, seemingly forgetting the instigators of every war in history, “Like they’ll just punch things out instead.”
“I think girls have trouble being friends with me because I’m hot and that means competition,” says Chelsea, “they’re just jealous.”
Like pretty much every high-maintenance person out there, Chelsea has a level headed partner who doesn’t talk much.
Kyle, a third year mechanic apprentice, doesn’t seem to mind being in a relationship with a human tornado, and and often agrees that Chelsea’s coworkers have been ‘a pile of shit.’
Chelsea insists she’s “quite in love” with the bloke, but quickly takes to Instagram with a selfie captioned ‘Thank U, Next’ when he doesn’t answer her text quick enough.
More to come.
