WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A young man in the Liberal Party of Australia has today been given his marching orders.
A staffer to a senior politician within the Opposition has reportedly been fired this morning, after making a serious mistake.
Speaking to us under the condition of anonymity so as not to breach his freshly signed Non Disclosure Agreement, the man we’ll call Alistair explained what happened.
“I knew I was speaking out of school, but I really didn’t think it was that big a deal,” sighed the young man who has likely earned himself a black mark at the likes of McKinsey and KMPG as well.
“They went off the handle and told me to fuck off,” he said.
The cause for consternation apparently came after young Alistair suggested the ludicrous idea of actually trying to come up with some policy to make everyday Australian’s lives better.
“I just suggested that rather than standing up and spitting off stuff about random referendums into the stupidest shit, maybe we devise something to lower the cost of living or fix the housing crisis.”
That was understandably met with serious disdain within the party, who are more concerned with brain rot culture wars shit like getting questions into the citizenship test, referendums on kicking a handful of people out of the country, and nuclear schemes that have zero basis in reality.
“I should have just kept my head down, but I stupidly thought that maybe as elected representatives in a representative democracy we should be looking at representing the interests of our democratic constituents.”
“Silly me.”
