For the first time since the 1970s, it seems that the late November news cycle has not included one story about how the Australian youth have lost their minds and are in extreme danger of being coward punched and having children with compete strangers.

As a result of the constant hysteria surrounding micro-outbreaks in Queensland, it seems Schoolies Week has not landed one headline on any of the major mastheads, TV updates, or radio news breaks.

This may because many had doubts that the week-long school leaver celebrations would even go ahead again, after the 2020 high school graduates were just told to suck it up and last year.

However, the Queensland Premier Palaszczuk has confirmed that the event will be able to go ahead, saying she is confident that last week’s Gold Coast cluster was “sufficiently contained”.

The Premier said last week the annual festival for school-leavers, which is scheduled to begin on today, was at risk but was now “good to go”.

After a year that has heralded such misery and disappointed for the kids – it was very, very Queensland State Government decision to leave the state’s teenagers waiting until the very last minute to find out if they will be able to take part in the week-long party that they have been waiting all their whole life for.

And today, the 53,000 school leavers in Queensland have been met with even better news – as the bloodthirsty Australian media forget to run even one sensationalist news story about this controversial rite of passage.

With Australian drug trade experiencing the same collapse as just about every other industry in Australia during the pandemic, there hasn’t even been any headlines about DODGY PILLS!!!

It would also appear that after having two formative years of teenage hopes and dreams stifled by the lockdowns, caused by the incompetence of the adults who run this country, the Queensland youth have matured far beyond that of schoolies past.

Queensland teenagers don’t even punch-on over minor disagreements anymore, instead opting to talk it out and weight up different scenarios – a skill of resilience they have all had to learn throughout the pandemic.

With no drug overdoses and coward punches to break through the media’s obsession with outbreak-fear-mongering – Australian journalists have no choice but to heed the advice of Pink Floyd and leave those kids alone.


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