The man responsible for thousands of deaths in a hostile invasion of the Middle East based off the back of rumours he had heard about Saddam Hussein harbouring weapons of mass destruction, has today said he’s not so sure that we should be rushing to condemn George Pell.

The December conviction of Cardinal Pell, and today’s subsequent pre-sentencing hearing, has come as a shock to many Howard-era Liberal Party figures, who are remembered for their colossal campaign strategy that saw the Coalition sways of conservative voters away from the traditionally-Catholic ALP in the mid-90s.

Former Prime Minister, John Howard appears to be the most shocked of them all. Even going as far as offering a character reference for the Cardinal, written after being made aware of his conviction.

This follows the lifting of a nationwide suppression order has allowed media to report that Pell has been found guilty of sexually abusing two choirboys when he was archbishop of Melbourne.

Pell’s barrister has tendered to the judge statements of ten character witnesses including friends and former staff. All who were aware that he has been convicted.

“Those people love him…none of them believe he is capable of this.” said his Barrister.

This also comes after the Pell has been sacked from his role as the Vatican treasurer, the third-highest ranking in the Holy City.

Former Prime Minister John Howard, however, just isn’t sure.

“I’ll have to speak with George and Tony… But I’m pretty suspicious about these claims” he said.

“I’m not big on rushing into things like this, especially when it all looks like a bit of hearsay. And when a lot of people could get hurt”

“I feel like some people might have an ulterior agenda here, and I don’t think we should play into their hands without some solid evidence”


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