As Australia faces a weird and unexplainable bog roll shortage, thousands of homes around the country are kind of getting a bit grossed out by the man of their house, and his lack of concern about this whole thing.

This comes as images of bare supermarket shelves are widely circulating on social media amid coronavirus fears, a bizarrely popular household item that is flying out of stores – and no one knows why.

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Manufacturers of toilet paper, tissues and hand sanitiser are boosting production to keep up with a surge in demand prompted by coronavirus concerns.

In fact, so hysterical is the nation’s panic buying that apparently someone got threatened with a knife in a Parramatta woolies today – during a fight over the last stash of goona wrap.

However, there are a lot of degenerate men around the country who don’t seem to really care that much about running out of toilet paper.

Local father-of-three, Craigo from Betoota Heights is one of these men.

When confronted with a bare cardboard roll this evening, Craigo didn’t even yell out to his missus to pass him some extra absorbent paper towels.

He didn’t do anything really.

And hasn’t done anything each time this has happened since Monday.

His wife, Ashley is a bit concerned about the whole thing but has chalked it up to the possibility of Craigo enacting the Asian squatting technique in his efforts to avoid any need for a wipe.

However, Prime Minister Scotty from Marketing may have identified what Craigo is actually up to, during a press conference today

The Prime Minister said he has met with major retailers to discuss the situation, but has also advised that toilet paper should only really be a necessity for women.

“There’s always an option for us blokes haha”

“Ladies, ever wonder why ya man is jumping straight into the shower after he lays cable….”

“Shouldn’t have to explain that one for ya. Haha. Just a little trick I learnt after the Engadine incident.”


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