As NewsCorp attempts to convince their newspaper readers and TV viewers that just about everyone except the fossil fuels sector is responsible for the four months that out of control bushfires have been ravaging the east coast – plenty of alternative explanations have been put on offer.

The most common of course for right-wing climate deniers is of course George Christensen’s theory that Australia is experiencing an ‘arsonist epidemic’.

While backed heavily by The Australian newspaper, the stats that suggest 183 people have been charged for lighting fires can easily be explained when looking at police reports that show most were for non-malicious ignitions like barbecues and fireworks.

Only 23 people have been arrested with arson, with most being minors of school grounds and public parks.

The second most popular theory held by the conservative Holden Commodores and dirt bikes on social media, and perpuated by Barnaby Joyce, is that the Greens Party, with only one Federal seat and fuck all councils have banned park rangers from engaging in hazard reduction burning for environmental reasons.

However, as the blazes continue to move south and leave even more tragedy and destruction in their wake – even the far-left are coming up with their own conspiracies about what caused this national emergency, aside from the Prime Minister refusing to meet with fire chiefs to discuss climate change for close to a year before the bushfires started.

Case in point is Uncle Todd (66) who can’t stop sharing memes that suggest that a secret high-speed rail lobby group has paid shadow agents to burn a specific path dow

Unfortunately, through somewhat of a weird political vortex, Uncle Todd is far too left-wing to think that Australia’s current environmental collapse could be linked to absolute political incompetence and criminal negligence from the multi-national corporations who refuse to acknowledge the findings of desperate scientists.

And while he is willing to accept that it is also a coincident that the fires have been most prominent in largely unmanaged crown land after parks rangers were slashed right across the country, during an extended bushfire season with some of the hottest temperatures ever recorded on the Australian continent – he’s not ready to drop this current conspiracy.

“Nah, you see there’s this thing called A Smart City Model…” he begins.

“Basically it’s funded by these corporations who are all invested in building supposedly smart and clean transport alternatives”

“Look it up.. A Smart City Model. ASCM on google. There’s heaps about it” expanding on his in-depth explanation of why his wife keeps deleting Facebook from the iPad.

While he does believe in climate change, Uncle Todd is more inclined to blame it on a Rothschilds-owned weather machine, as opposed to the accelerating rate that planet Earth has been emitting carbon into the atmosphere for the last couple centuries.

He has also indicated that he believes “exploding smart meters” and the villainous 5G network could also be responsible for these fires – another theory that plays into his concerns around big corporations and the data they have on us.


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