Generic white dork #2 has secured the leadership of the NSW Labor Party, and pledged to “fix the planning system in NSW” should he be elected Premier in March.

He has also indicated that he will do his very best to not be corrupt and go to prison like most of the prominent NSW Labor Right identities over the last three decades.

“Yeah. I’ll be just as, if not, more out of sight and out of mind as the bloke I have replaced” said Generic White Man #2.

The leadership contest was triggered by Mr Foley’s resignation on Thursday, after ABC journalist Ashleigh Raper released a statement in which she said he had put his hand down her underwear at a Christmas party in November 2016. Mr Foley denied the allegation and threatened to launch defamation proceedings in the Federal Court.

“Just pretend I’m not here. That’s what the media does. If the voters can forget that my predecessor groped a journalist in the next few months, then I might even be premier”

“How fucked is that haha”

The newly elected leader laid out his vision for government as one “built on four pillars”, naming investment in education and hospitals, easing the cost of living, jobs, and keeping developers happy as his core priorities.



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