The people of Melbourne are going back into lockdown, it has been confirmed by the Victorian state government today.

The five-day snap lockdown will begin from midnight tonight to curb the growing outbreak that has seen a man and a child test positive after attending the MCG on Saturday, July 10, at the same time as a man in his 60s who acquired the virus from Sydney-based removalists who visited his apartment complex in Melbourne.

It appears that Dan Andrews has well and truly backed up yesterday’s euphoric press conference, where he proudly declared ‘It’s Coming Home’ to cheering Victorian journalists after announcing yesterday’s spike in community transmission.

And the case numbers have only grown in the 24 hours since this announcement, causing Dan Andrews to take the stage again – this time launching into a soulful rendition of the iconic party-starter ‘This is How We Do It’.

“This Is How We Do It” is the debut single by American singer Montell Jordan. The song at number one on the Billboard Hot 100 on April 15, 1995, rising from number six the previous week and displacing Madonna from the top spot for two months. The single sold one million copies domestically, earning a platinum certification, as well as a nomination for Best Male R&B Vocal Performance at the 38th Annual Grammy Awards.

The Victorian Premier began today’s press conference by shouting “hit it” and pointing at a DJ on the side of stage, before he began crooning

“It’s Thursday night, and I feel alright…”

“The lockdown’s here on the West Side”

Andrews began to frill with his eyes closed as he sang the rest of the song, with altered lyrics that highlighted the outbreaks on the suburban fringe, while also urging every one of the tens of thousands of Victorians who went to the MCG over the weekend to please stay home.

“So tip up your cup and throw your hands up” he continued.

“And let me hear the party say”

“I’m kinda buzzed and it’s all because”

“This is how we do it”

“Melbourne lockdown does it like nobody does”


“THIS IS HOW WE DO-OOOO IT” the crowd of excited journalists sang back to him


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