CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An uneasy and confused marriage of distressed construction workers and anti-vaxxer protestors are marching through Melbourne again this afternoon, as the city reaches boiling point after nearly 300 days in lockdown since the pandemic began.
Both Victorian police and Union officials have come out to clarify that they believe these riots have been orchestrated by far-right-extremists aimed at pitting union members against public health orders, with a suspicious amount of these ‘tradies’ wearing brand new high-vis.
This protests kicked off yesterday, following a violent confrontation at the CFMEU offices, where a large mob of protestors accused the union officials of letting down workers by not shutting down the state government’s proposed mandatory jab policies.
In what can only be described as some of the worst de-escalation tactics in the history of Australian politics, Victorian Premier Dan Andrews immediately called for a two week halt on all construction work in Melbourne – in what looked a lot like an inner-city politician’s attempt at punishing all 140,000 CFMEU members for the actions of 500 idiots – many of whom had never held a shovel in their life.
With a growing number of real tradies and labourers now in the streets protesting the subsequent construction ban, the detached Labor toffs at Spring Street have to move quickly to resolve the situation.
Moments ago, Premier Dan Andrews fronted the Victorian media in an open collar Tarocash shirt to announce a new disaster scheme, aimed at easing tensions within the construction industries.
“This weekend only!!!” said Andrews.
“A grand final special as Melbourne goes head to head with the Western Bulldogs!”
Blue and yellow graphics began flying across the screen as the Premier began announcing his government’s new disaster bonus bets scheme – in an effort to calm down the frustrated tradies.
“We are offering up to $500 bucks for any out of work tradies to punt on this weekend’s granny!”
“Log in to your Services Victoria check-in app today to suss out our list of grand final bonus bets and free bet back specials!”
“Now please. I’m begging you. Go home and gamble responsibly”
