Pope Francis is reportedly quite worried about the costs associated with the unexpected fire at Notre Dame Cathedral yesterday morning, after arriving in Paris this afternoon to inspect the scene.

“Ahhh. Just don’t know where we are going to find the money” he sighed to himself.

“This is going to sting us a bit”

This comes as governments around the world are pledging financial support to help the richest organisation in human history with the restoration of an old cathedral that they should have probably maintained a bit better over the last 800 years.

The Notre Dame Cathedral, that was owned by the French Government and leased to the Catholic Church for free, provided they pay for upkeep, is now in nomansland – with outspoken Francophile Australian boomers insisting we as a nation help tip in a couple million – even after the amount of grief that Church has caused our society over the last 12 months.

Archbishop Rocco Spighter, a spokesman for the Catholic Church spoke to reporters about this dilemma earlier.

“We’ve spent millions trying to keep Cardinal Pell out of jail, and he was the one in charge of all the money”

“Pope Francis doesn’t even know who the new treasurer is”

“Pell certainly wasn’t an accountant, I think he played AFL for Richmond before joining the clergy and systematically abusing young men for five decades”

At time of press, it is believed that the Vatican was considering downloading it’s Foxtel package for all 250,000 gold-plated televisions in the Holy City, in an effort to tighten the belt ahead of restoration.


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