A wise man once said that a ‘leopard never changes its spots’ – and for local bloke Danny Burgoyne that saying certainly rings true.

In school, Danny was that kid who forcefully stabbed loose sheets of paper into his binder a little bit too violently. The kid who, despite much rearranging, had a perpetually lopsided tidy tray that every now and then, with the wrong shove, would spontaneously combust and spew a mountain of pencil shavings, assorted pens and the occasional Yu-Gi-Oh card. Even his lunchbox, which was his mother’s attempt to at least confine his mess into a capsule, could not contain his commitment to being messy.

Because future Danny didn’t give a shit if the banana he left at the bottom of his bag is going to stink out the classroom. Or about the couple of spilled sultanas that are now permanently stuck between two pages of his maths textbook. He doesn’t need a bookmark. It’s called innovation.

But now, a solid fifteen years later, those habits from school have found a way to creep into the workplace, albeit in a more modern way.

A member from his team, who we learn directly manages Danny, reveals to The Advocate that his employee’s desktop almost gives him an aneurysm every time he sees it.

“He pulls me over to his computer to look at stuff and I can’t fucking concentrate because his screen looks like fucking minesweeper”, says Ian.

“He’s always got at least fifteen tabs open on his browser too. He’ll google a question and just leave it there. You try taking your employee seriously when he’s asked Google if dogs bark in accents.”

“Do they? I don’t fucking know.”

“And he knows where everything is. I ask him if he can shoot across a marketing report from 2016.”

“He goes into his documents folder and clicks on something with a title like Findings.1″

“and it’s the right one”

“I don’t know if he’s an idiot or a genius.”

Ian adds that in a lot of ways, Danny has made himself indispensable because in the event that he got fired, no one would know where anything was.

“I’m hoping one day he will clean his act up a bit. For the sake of his RAM.”

Danny says this is all a gee up, before saving his entire wedding photo album to ‘This Computer’.

More to come.


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