With many Church services to come in 2019, including the very popular Easter Mass, the perennial debate over pell-testing in Australia has once again kicked on with health professionals, politicians and commentators weighing in.

Australia’s first pell-testing trial, held at Canberra’s annual Catholic Fair this year, has seen plenty of critics come out of the woodwork saying testing results in more atheists.

But there is no solid evidence to show that pell testing leads to churchgoers taking choosing the life of a non-believer and going to hell. In fact, there are multiple studies and trials indicating pell testing often results in less people going to hell.

By simply checking a suspicious priests heart rate and asking him to name his favourite Australian artists, experts say they can almost immediately identify a rock spider will potential to cause harm.

The ACT government’s announcement to allow pell-testing tents at all Church fair, follows the lifting of a nationwide suppression order has allowed media to report that George Pell has been found guilty of sexually abusing two choirboys when he was archbishop of Melbourne.

While conservative commentators have been quick to defend Cardinal Pell against the convictions handed to him by a jury of his peers and years of police investigation, Canberra has decided a preventative approach may be the best route to avoid any more lives being ruined.

Other initiatives to help break down the rampant culture of child sex crimes in the Catholic Church have also been put forward – with some experts suggesting that maybe if we allow Catholic priests to get married and live a normal life, we might not end up with so many creeps deciding to join the clergy.

Other radical suggestions like taxing the Church or not forcing religion on to people below the age of consent have been immediately shunned by the devout rock-choppers in both the ALP and Liberal Party.


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