Once again, the State Premiers have been left with no answers from an Australian Prime Minister who has failed to properly secure the medical resources required to mitigate the effects of yet another outbreak.

This is no longer a disaster that Scotty From Marketing can spin into a Labor party culture war, with even the most Liberal Premiers in recent memory begging him to speed up the schedule for booster shots, after the Omicron variant surges to record high cases numbers in South Australia and New South Wales.

The Prime Minister has once again gone silent this week, as he tends to do whenever urgent political matters get in the way of his precious holidays, with some voters even speculating he might have fucked off to Hawaii again to ride things out while the frontline workers go down like ten pins with Omicron.

However, much like the world-renowned shit show that was the August jab roll-out, the truth of the matter unfortunately has very little to do with political ideology or medical advice.

The fact is, Scotty From Marketing has once again failed to order enough medical supplies to keep the nation free of another fucking lockdown, with pharmacies running out of rapid tests and booster shots before the clock even strikes midnight on New Years Eve.

As it stands, the last thing the Prime Minister has posted on social media was a euphoric congratulation to the Australian cricket side for their impressive work winning back the Ashes, despite countless close contact scares within the camp.

Today, with nothing else to offer a nation that is doubling their case numbers by the day, Scotty From Marketing has begun crafting his feel good Happy New Years message for a social media post.

After slaving away for hours in his tax-payer funded Kirribilli home office, it is reported the PM has only managed to nail one sentence.

”How good are fireworks haha”


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