LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

At 6’10 and 180kg it’s hard to miss Daniel Tran (35) as he walks down Betoota’s famous promenade nursing a Blue Bolt Gatorade despite the fact he did no sport today and not much of any competitive team activity of any kind in the past 10 years.

While onlookers are usually in awe of Tran as he usually stands with a blindingly bright high-vis landyard hanging over his bulging abdomen, he has drawn more looks today with the addition of a 600mL bottle of Powerade which looks comically small in his meaty hands.

“I got the blue flavour. Aaaah. This was my favourite when I used to play touch. What was my team called again?”

According to the big Kahuna IT worker, today’s 27-degree temperature was enough reason for him to hydrate himself with a drink containing an amount of sugar so excessive it is required only by elite athletes playing in swamp-like humidity.

Despite the fact his height and sports drink habit would suggest Tran has some sort of penchant for a game like basketball, Tran physically lacks the space required to pass a ball between his tree trunk sized legs as well as the skill required to do so and the actual motivation to leave the house for anything other than video gaming.

“Yeah, I like sport. Up the mighty Cowboys! Bowen still plays for them right?”

While aware that Gatorade contains enough calories to power him through four hours of strenuous exercise, during which time he could just be drinking water anyway, Tran says he felt like a Gatorade and has his own reasons for doing so.

“You really want to know why I am drinking a Gatorade? The servo didn’t have any bloody Maximus.”


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