Australia’s extremely loud minority of anti-vaxxers have today been exposed as barely a bleep on the radar of public health.

This comes 24 hours after Canberra reached 70 per cent fully jabbed coverage for its population over 12, with great momentum.

As a case study into Australia would look like if every region had adequate access to jabs, it can be revealed that a staggering 98 per cent of Canberrans aged over 12 have now received at least one dose.

ACT Chief Minister Andrew Barr says based on the forward bookings within their system, it was likely they would cross over from 98 per cent to 99 per cent first dose.

These promising numbers are a testament to hard work of grassroots organisers in non-english speaking and Aboriginal communities that have traditionally been missed by culturally blind government health messaging.

With medical skepticism obviously thriving in the same marginalised communities that experience disproportionate incarceration rates and education gaps, the predatory white girls behind the dangerous movement of online misinformation had made a big effort to press the hot buttons of historical distrust in government policies that are apparently aimed to help.

However, rates are only lifting in the LGAs that were once of such great concern to health experts, despite the anti-vaxxers doing their best to spread misinformation.

However as other states finally gain access to different variants of the jab, it can be confirmed that all of these whingeing little health skeptics actually aren’t that much of a concern – especially now that we have realised they make up such an inconsequential variable in our fight against the virus.

The statistics that prove this movement is actually just made up of a bunch of river drunk hippies and bourgeois mummy bloggers is yet another inconvenient truth for the noisy anti-vaxxers.

One local Gen-X radical from Betoota’s countercultural hinterland town of Linenwunsie has today refused to believe these statistics, and claims her movement is stronger and bigger than ever.

“I just have done a bit of research into the Canberra hospital system and their relationship with the Australian Bureau of Statistics” says Mandolin Slinky.

“Lets just say, from what I saw in grainy JPEG images on Instagram… I don’t think they are telling us everything”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here