Local alpha male Vincent Varney (32) reinforced his dominant status today by claiming Player 1 during a game of Call of Duty despite the fact he was a guest at his mate Tom Copping’s (30) house.

After laughing at Copping’s historic 20-month dryspell, the two sat down to play Call of Duty but not before Varney quickly snatched Copping’s prefered controller and logged in as player one.

“Get ready to die, big boy,” stated Varney as he cracked his neck in anticipation.

According to Copping, this behaviour is not out of place for his life-long friend who he states used to claim his prefered Nintendo 64 clear controller when they were kids.

“When we go to the pub he sometimes asks for chips when it’s my round and then moves them to his side of the table and doesn’t open them until later,” stated Copping.

“He’s such a crack up.”

When confronted with these accusations, Varney denies that he was deliberately trying to intimidate Copping and simply states he was just trying to remind him who the ‘big chief’ is.

“Maybe if he spent less time winging about that and more time practising COD he wouldn’t end up getting pwned in Nuketown every time we throw down.”

More to come.


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