Despite spending the last couple years provoking China in an effort to show voters that only Scott Morrison is big and strong enough to protect us from the scary Asians, it seems that the Australian government failed to prevent one our closest Pacific neighbours from signing a security pact with the Chinese.

In even weirder news, the Scotty and Foreign Minister Marise Payne say they knew about the secret draft security pact between China and the Solomon Islands weeks before it became public knowledge, with several government sources claiming the nation’s intelligence agencies played a role in orchestrating the leak.

After years of slashing foreign aid to our pacific neighbours because the National Party don’t like giving money to foreigners during drought, the fact that these tiny island nations are now nailing their flags to China comes as no surprise, because it is isn’t Australia thats helping them build roads and airports.

However, as the 2022 Federal Election campaign descends into pointless culture wars charged debates about gender identity and gay teenagers, it seems extreme national security breaches will be taking a back seat.

As the Murdoch newspapers desperately try to blame the Opposition for the humiliating Solomon Islands pact, the Morrison government stands by their decision to focus on politicising trans people, rather than preventing China from building a military base just a stones throw from North Queensland.

Here’s 7 reasons why transgender people are a bigger threat to our way of life than China making a move on the Pacific.

  1. Trans people have proven they have the ability to dominate Sydney’s late night trivia scene, what is stopping them from taking over other industries once dominated by the underwhelming sons of politicians, like real estate or finance?
  2. Unlike the Chinese, who look different to us, trans people are often hiding in plain sight. (Hugo Weaving anyone??)
  3. Trans people have a dramatic influence on fashion and dance, it’s not ridiculous to think that they will soon be influencing government policy?
  4. The issues surrounding gender identity in sport is a difficult conversation, especially for ex-footballers turned administrators who are suffering from CTE, so it is better to simply avoid this conversation, by talking non-stop about how difficult this conversation is!
  5. Trans people are often taller than your average Liberal Party politician, making it impossible for Scott Morrison to not feel like he is being talking down to.
  6. It is a proven fact that if you accidentally misgender a trans person, you will lose your job and be exiled from your family.
  7. In fact, a recent report commissioned by Hillsong has found that trans people are lobbying to imprison people who don’t walk on egg shells around them!!

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