CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
A landmark pay rise for the NSW police force has inadvertently triggered an existential crisis, now that officers can afford to live in suburbs that are close to universities
The historic deal was struck by a Minns government mired in pay disputes with nurses and other public-sector unions.
Police in New South Wales are set to become the best-paid officers in the entire country, thanks to a once-in-a-generation wage increase of up to 40% under a new pay deal.
While the deal has largely been celebrated by police — who probably should be paid more than they are to encourage professionally minded recruits to actually join their ranks —some are already sounding the alarm.
“It’s great that I can finally afford to live in the city, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little worried about the impact it might have on my kids,” said Constable Morgan, 55.
“My own son told me he wants to go to art school after Year 12! I can’t really argue with that now that I’ve got the coin for him to fuck around for a couple years exploring different creative mediums…”
“… VBefore he inevitably gives up and then tells me that it’s my fault that he has no career because I put too much pressure on him”
While the most recent inner-city police arrivals are confident their kids won’t fall down the same questionable paths as other children of upper-middle-class inner-city gentrifiers, experts say that’s unlikely.
“It’s inevitable” said Sarah Boyd, 59, a sociologist from Sydney University.
“You see, once coddled inner-city kids get a look at the real world on the University lawn, they generally encourage each other to go deeper and deeper down the anti-establishment hole,”
One police officer was horrified to discover that his eldest child had gotten an ACAB (All Cops Are Bastards) stick-and-poke tattoo on his forearm.
“We’d only lived here for a few weeks. My boy should be a warning to all police officers to keep their children as far away from a terrace house as they can”
“I should’ve known that he’d be convinced that cops don’t need to exist after exposing him to the type of young kids who’ve never had to call the cops”
