The Special Envoy to Indigenous Affairs has today taken an unorthodox route towards swaying voters, after hosting an in-store signing and merch pop-up event in the Warringah Culture Kings store.

The Former Prime Minister has reportedly become a repeat customer at the iconic Australian streetwear franchise, after his new Tongan-Australian girlfriend took him there to pick up some Chicago Bulls kit over the weekend.

This marks and concerted effort to appeal to more a multicultural spread of Australian voters, which is a first for Uncle Tony X, or as he is now known by his Tongan in-laws Uncle Tane X.

Liberal Party colleagues, while incredibly uncomfortable surrounded by that many black people wearing hoods, say that it shows a new direction for the Liberal Party – who up until now was planning on offering discounts on Coopers Pale Ale and RM Williams boots in an effort to drive up membership numbers.

Today’s meet-and-greet comes after a whirlwind fortnight that has seen the Member for Warringah enter the NSW prison system and convert to Islam, and hook up with Tongan cutie from Griffith, ever since he gave a conditional yes to taking on the job of the Federal Government’s Indigenous envoy.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison did not ask Uncle Tony to be a minister in his new Government, but instead asked him to take on the role of envoy, citing his close association with Aboriginal Australia after growing up in a six bedroom mansion in Sydney’s Northern Beaches and working for the Liberal Party for nearly three decades.

However, it appears that Uncle Tony has decided to embrace the new non-cabinet pity role, after today’s succesful in-store Liberal Party rally.

At time of press Uncle Tane X was seen singing an acoustic version of How Deep Is Your Love, by New Zealand rnb/soul band Adeaze.


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