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After five days in prison awaiting trial for a charge of public nuisance and a log of unpaid parking fines, The Former Prime Minister has today used his one phone call to ask his former Deputy if he missed anything good on last night’s season 3 return of ABC’s Black Comedy.

“Did they do the what’s this then slut thing?” asked incarcerated Special Envoy to Indigenous Affairs.

“Or that one about the migaloo who talks like she’s mob. That’s a crack up”

However, Uncle Tony’s last remaining ally in the Coalition Government, his brother cousin BJ, was unable to to give a clear and thorough run-down on last night’s programme, as he was too busy laughing at the Bondi Blackfella skit.

“Hahaha! Holy shit” said Mr Joyce.

“This fulla”

“[hahahahah]”

“It’s about this Koori lifesaver. [laughter]”

“Wait [deep breaths]. I’m weak. Fuck it’s funny”

Uncle Tony responded by telling Joyce to pull his head in, because he was having trouble to visualise the skit.

“Aye hurry up. I only get a five minutes fuck ya”

“What’s the skit about? I hearded Goodesy was on there. The screws won’t let me watch telly after my run in with those gammin skinheads yesterday”

It is believed after trying unsuccessfully to get Barnaby Joyce to settle down, the conversation quickly turned to a discussion about whether or not Scott Morrison was ridiculing them by giving them special envoy positions that meant they would have to spend less time in Canberra and more time in remote communities away from the media.

“I don’t know, cuz” said Uncle Tony.

“I thought the prick woulda bailed me out of here by now”

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