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Opposition Leader Bill Bradbury Shorten has today spent the morning sharpening up his tools.

The aspiring Prime Minister hoping not to Michael Daley an easy catch and pass try in the corner told The Advocate that it’s been a big couple of hours making sure his speed skates are perfectly prepared for the months ahead.

“I’m making sure I get this right,” explained the Labor leader looking likely to Steven Bradbury this election and swan his way into the Prime Ministership.

“I don’t know how long I’m in this CFMEU broom cupboard for so I’m actually glad I’ve got the opportunity to sharpen up these skates to occupy my time.”

“I’ve got them really sharp so far you know.”

“Sharp enough to cut out any gaffes about Adani or Asians being smart I hope,” Shorten said admiring the shining blades.

Shorten told us that he’s been watching videos of his hero and idol Steven Bradbury speeding round the rink and storming home to win gold.

“Becoming the Prime Minister is my gold medal,” Shorten said.

“That’s why I strategically knifed sitting Prime Ministers and staged coups, so I could put my self in the position to speed on past as everyone falls down.”

“Anyway, back to it,” he said pulling down the safety goggles and putting the gloves back on.


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