As the nation deals with the idea that Scotty from Marketing secretly swearing himself into umpteen different jobs was perfectly legal, Scotty has stepped in and set everyone’s mind at ease.

Speaking at a presser that is somehow more unhinged than the ones he gave as PM, Scotty confirmed that he did not see any wrongdoing in his cabinet in his final months as PM.

“I didn’t see anything wrong,” stated Scotty, his back facing the gaggle of reporters.

“If something was wrong I would have seen it. Unless it was serious alleged matters relating to staff behaviour in my own cabinet, in which case I not only didn’t see it but didn’t hear about it either.”

According to the former freelance PM, he did not see any wrongdoing in his final stretch as PM, or much of anything at all really now that he thinks of it.

When asked if his failing eyesight was due to his hilarious misuse of a welding mask during his highly anticipated 1000th photo opp, Scotty said that never happened as he never saw footage of it.

“I think I’d remember doing something as foolish as that. I think you might have me confused with Albo, who I might point out has done nothing since becoming the Prime Minister.”

Scotty then attempted to leave the presser, bumping his knee into some chairs before walking into the women’s bathroom.


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