Praise, hope and high expectation have followed the appointment of Western Australian senator Michaelia Cash as Minister for Karen Affairs in the new Morrison government.

Senator Cash is the first Karen to hold the newly created federal ministry, and the first woman to go through a can-of-Schwarzkopf-Strong-hold-per-day to sit in cabinet since Fran Bailey MP.

In a statement Cash said she was “incredibly honoured to be the first Karen minister for Karen Affairs, committed to working and walking together with our services workers, police, high school teachers, and retail managers to ensure that Australia’s Karens are well represented and supported at a Federal level, particularly during and after their public meltdowns are recorded on iPhones and posted on social media.

The formation of the new department, as well as Cash’s appointment was announced in immediate response to three different public Karen incidents throughout Melbourne over the last week – where irrational suburban women with dense hairstyles that defy gravity were fimed abusing both police, government officials and minimum wage workers.

Cash arrived in Canberra on Monday from her home state of Western Australia amid speculation about how she might consult with fired up middle class white mums who do not like being told to wear masks and stay home during a COVID-19 Pandemic.

Prior to her political career, Cash was a solicitor with the law firm Freehills where she worked from 1999 to 2008, and was well known in the Perth CBD for yelling at cafe workers who mixed up her complicated coffee orders.

Cash is also well-known in Australian politics for her renowned abilities in slut-shaming and Pauline whispering.



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