The Prime Minister has today made a bit of a personal compromise, and put aside his faith for a little while.

Speaking from Canberra this morning in the ongoing wake of the Christian Porter/Alan Tudge scandal, Scotty from Marketing revealed that he’s popping his Christian hat off until all this stuff blows over.

“Look, as a wealthy white male Christian, I reserve the right to pick and chose which issues to apply my faith to,” he explained.

“That’s a pretty commonly accepted practice here and abroad,” said the man who opposed same-sex marriage and had to be forced into acknowledging that ‘gays won’t go to hell’ last year.

“I mean child sexual abuse, same-sex marriage, offshore detention, sexist and misogynistic behaviour, there’s a strong and unwavering precedent there that you don’t have to follow Christian values when it comes to things like that,” he laughed.

“Which is obviously why I won’t be asking the highest-ranking legal official in the country to stand down for appalling behaviour.”

“Or Tudge, the man who heavily campaigned against same-sex marriage and espoused ‘traditional family values’ whilst having an affair with another married woman.”

Scott Morrison then went on to explain that that’s the beauty of politics.

“You only have to act on things when it becomes politically detrimental not to do so.”

“And right now, given our male-dominated Government that isn’t the case,” said the man in charge of a 22 member cabinet that has six women.

“So, let’s get on with life and move on aye. Let’s go Paul Gallen and you bloody Blues!”


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