The Prime Minister has relieved himself of all guilt in regards to the Sports Rorts saga today.

The nation’s Head of Marketing did so by deflecting any questions about the 136 emails his office exchanged with the minister responsible for the giant rort, with “I’m no good with computers haha.”

Followed by a jovial dad laugh, Scott Morrison physically wiped his hands before continuing to explain that he’s got no idea how the $100 million in dodgy grants were given out by his Sports Minister after exchanging emails about the program.

“Nah I don’t deal with any of that stuff ya know,” he laughed referring to the partisan colour-coded spreadsheets his office shared with Bridget Mckenzie while they were pork-barreling.

“Computers, emails, technology haha.”

“You know me, I’m a fair dinkum old fashioned Aussie bloke. You won’t catch me on Click Clock ya know haha.”

“Besides 136 emails about this scheme which I had no idea about is just part of the process, but not part of the process I need to reveal. You just need to trust me on this one alright.”

His comments come after it was revealed a club in his electorate received $50,000 for a building that had already been built.

“Yeah not sure about that one, so let’s just move along yeah?”


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