EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

Meet Greg Landson, he’s 24, has a degree in engineering, and has worked for two companies, doing whatever the hell it is that engineers do.

After grinding for seven years, this hardworking Aussie is ready to make the big boy money at one of the biggest big boy companies, Rio Tinto. 

But after applying for a plum role and rigorously working through the seven stage interview process, Greg has narrowly missed out on his dream job – and what’s even more insulting, it went to a bloke who had no experience in the sector.

That’s right, Greg’s competition didn’t even have a PHD, multiple LinkedIn endorsements from top CEO’s or fluency in three languages.

Because Greg lost the job to none other than the former Prime Minister of Australia, Scott Morrison, who doesn’t even know how to download a PDF, let completing an engineering degree.

Which begs the question – who is more likely to steal your job? An overly qualified immigrant? A private school boy with more connections than Roxy Jacenko?

Or Side Hustle Scotty?

Well, the answer may surprise you. According to a recent investigation conducted by the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the average Aussie is 22% more likely to have their job taken by Scott Morrison, than any other influence – including, shockingly, the rise of automation.

So what does this mean for us, dear reader? 

It’s unknown at this point, though I highly urge you all to keep your eyes peeled, form alliances where you can, and join a church in an affluent area.

But at the end of the day, you will not be able to stop him. For he is not a mere mortal, he’s a bulldozer.

More to come.


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