Former Prime Mininsters Kevin Rudd, John Howard and Julia Gillard have met over a coffee today to congratulate themselves on not listening to the critics and persevering with the Northern Territory Intervention during their respective governments.

“Fair shake of the sauce bottle” said Kevin Rudd.

“This blanket approach to resolving a made up paedophile rinh was under a lot of scrutiny throughout the four different governments held between the three of us”

Gillard, who hadn’t spoken to Kevin Rudd again since he ousted her – appeared to agree with the her predecessor and successor – for the first since he ousted her.

“Oh absolutely. It took a lot of neg-osee-ating but I think we should pat ourselves on the backs for not listening to civil rights lawyers for two decades”

John Howard was also quick to point out that, while there a very few positive stats to come from their race-based welfare quarantine programs and child-seperating policies, the fact that there are no more white kids in juvie is a great start.

“This will trickle down to the rest” he says.

This bipartison, inter-factional display of self-importance and self-worship comes after news that as of this week, 100% of the children in detention in the Northern Territory are Aboriginal, according to The NT families department.

“The proportions have not changed since the royal commission.” the agency told a parliamentary committee last week.

Nationally, 53% of all young people in detention in 2017 were Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander, and Indigenous young people aged 10 to 17 were 24 times as likely as non-Indigenous young people to be in detention.


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