In the space of 24 hours, the Liberal Party has lost three of their most senior Cabinet Ministers, which is exactly the opposite of what Scotty From Marketing needs three months out from Australians heading to the ballot.

Moments ago, The PM told parliament that Education Minister Alan Tudge has stood aside from the ministry after a former Liberal staffer made fresh claims against him, alleging she was in an emotionally, and on one occasion, physically abused by him. 

On top of this, Health Minister Greg Hunt has just announced he will join former attorney-general Christian Porter in resigning from Federal Politics at the next election.

After losing a wave of experienced politicians like Julie Bishop and Julia Banks decided to depart from the Liberal ranks with Turnbull after the 2018 Lib Spill, Australians had only just learn the names of today’s most recent casualties. Now, with empty seats opening up on front bench almost every week – the Coalition is tasked with finding squeaky clean nobodies shuffle up the ladder to take control of portfolios they know nothing about.

For years debates have raged over which MPs would step up as next wave of leaders within the Liberal Party.

In fact, the loss of Tudge, Porter and Hunt has crossed off the next three cabs in the rank for party leadership.

With Josh Frydenberg holding the reins as the Deputy, it is not believed that he would have the support of the party’s conservative faction to take over as Prime Minister if Scott Morrison was to himself ‘pull a Porter’ and resign.

However, despite all of this chit chat about the Liberals being spread devastatingly thin when it comes to talent, the Prime Minister has today quelled all concerns about the future of his party.

“The notion that the Liberal Party is down to the dregs is ridiculous!” said the PM.

“We’ve got plenty of middle aged white blokes who spend every Sunday worshipping a Jesus in a giant air-conditioned aeroplane hangar while some virgins with goatees play electric guitar on stage”

“Everyday Australians need not worry about this government running out of competent legislators who have a basic understanding of what real life looks like”

“Just have a look at some of the blokes coming through”

“We’ve got Keith Pitt… Ummm.. He’s good”

“We’ve got Senator McGrath, that guy that always post photos of the Magpies he’s killed with his comcar. He’s up to the job”

“And of course, we’ve got my favourite young up and comer, Ben Morton, from WA”

“Since entering parliament in July 2016, he has always voted on party lines and never once expressed his own opinion. He votes with me on everything!”

“And he looks like me too!”


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