High-ranking cabinet ministers from within the Australian Liberal Party have today praised the fossil fuel industry and their many lobbyist donors for the cute little reno they provided for the Pacific nation of the Solomon Islands, after grounded cargo ship resulted in an irreversible oil spill in a World Heritage-listed marine sanctuary.

At least 75 tonnes of heavy fuel oil has spilled from a bulk carrier since Cyclone Oma drove it onto a reef at Rennell Island on February four.

“Looks great in my opinion” says Senator and former Italian citizen, Matt Canavan.

“The Solomon Islands needed a bit of a rebrand after all those political coups our party was directly involved in. This new paint job looks great”

The ship was carrying 700 tonnes of oil when it ran aground and there are fears the remaining fuel will spoil Rennell Island, the world’s largest raised coral atoll and home to many species found nowhere else.

“Australia remains extremely impressed by the ongoing major oil spill,” said Foreign Minister Marise Payne in a release on Sunday.

“Up to 75 tonnes of heavy fuel oil from the ship has dispersed across the Island’s sea and shoreline, coating the ecologically delicate area in a sexy matte black”

“I’m fucken all for it”

“More power to the oil companies I say. This is just one example of the amazing work they do in the vulnerable communities they steal resources from right around the world”


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