EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

After the party faced backlash over revelations that their deputy leader previously dated someone who willingly chose to ride a fossil fuel guzzling motorcycle, the Greens have now informed all new candidates that they must adhere to the the party’s policies when hitting the dating scene – and failure to do so, will result in an instant dismissal.

This new legislation is alleged to involve a list of acceptable vehicles that both members and their paramores can drive, which are ranked from ‘most acceptable’ to ‘a pass’, with walking, public transport, and eclectic scooters leading the board for most preferable.

Transportation by horse and cart was also thrown into the mix and heavily contested over, before the party agreed that option might be deemed cruel, especially given the whole La Nina thing.

Though motorcycles are admittedly still a better option than cars, Harley Davidon’s have definitely been put on the big no no list, especially seeing as the company has recently been embroiled in a clean air act settlement, as they sold roughly 340,000 ‘super tuners’ that illegally let motorcycle owners tune their vehicles in a way that made them emit more pollutants than allowed.

Luckily, young female candidates have been able to battle it out and at least wear Harley Davidson shirts, which always pretty dope come festival season.

More to come.


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