LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Just as your aunt always says on Christmas ‘stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason.’
Although unaware, Volkswagen Golf driver Ryan Pulicino (35) was about to sit behind the wheel of his German manufactured car and live up to the stereotype that Golf drivers are a danger to society.
“It’s all a joke, I’m only going 70 km right now,” stated Pulicino as he drove our reporters through a school zone with one finger pointing to his speedo and the rest of his hand grasping a V.
“Are we allowed to do a u-turn here? No? OK just a quick donut then.”
The stereotype of Volkswagen Golf drivers being absolute dangers to society goes back to the companys’ founding in Germany, 1933.
These days, Golf drivers are known for attracting crowds of onlookers as everyone peers on from a safe distance wondering what crazy shit they will do next.
“It’s an unfair stereotype to begin with. I drove like this before but I am not an idiot, I practice safe speeding and I’ve only been booked three times and lost my license once.”
“I got a mate who has been booked nine times, lost his license twice, written off two cars and he’s still the best driver I know apart from me.”
Our reporter was forced to end the interview after correctly predicting Pulicino would miss an upcoming STOP sign and chose to jump out of the car, later needing 17 pieces of gravel extracted from his buttocks.
Pulicino and his Golf escaped the eventual pileup unharmed, blaming the incident on a nearby cyclist.