“Yeah, so they thought he was gonna be injured, but it turns out he’s gonna be alright to play. Not sure if this was a mind game but, yeah, like it looked like a pretty bad injury” said Kel (26).

That was pretty much all he needed to say, but after observing the refreshing look of interest in his girlfriend’s eyes, Kel decided to run her through his entire career. Starting from his early years playing rugby union in Brisbane’s Catholic School comp, right through the eight-in-a-row Origin streak, countless Melbourne Storm premierships, the salary cap scandal and of course his most recent club-swap to the Sydney Roosters.

“Oh true” says Sarah, the long-suffering girlfriend of a Fantasy NRL addict, and Victorian ex-pat, who is only asking light questions to kill time until she can go home and watch UnReal on Netflix.

Kel, who’s so infatuated with the match ahead of him that he fails to read past his misso’s feigned interest, continues.

“Yeah, actually, so like, there’s been a bit of legacy in Melbourne over the last decade. The big three they used to call them. Billy Slater, Cameron Smith, Cooper Cronk. Pretty much the greatest players of the modern era in their respective positions, so like, for him to leave for the Roosters was a pretty big call, like everyone thought they were going to retire together. But like, it turns out Cameron Smith probably isn’t going to retire for another year. So it’s just Billy that’s retiring this year, and that’s the one I was telling you about that nearly couldn’t play because of a shoulder charge last week. But yeah, Cronk nearly didn’t play either. So it’s pretty good that all of them got cleared. Just for the quality of the game”

“So yeah, a shoulder charge is basically when you…”

At time of press Sarah was seen shopping for Summer dresses on her iPhone, after realising that she’ll actually have a lot more time with Kel over the next few months.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here