Former NSW premier Gladys Berejiklian has declined the Prime Minister’s offer to run in next year’s federal election, announcing instead that she will be doing what every other Premier does, and use her time as the leader of her state as a stepping stone into the private sector.

Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing and other senior Liberals were openly lobbying for Ms Berejiklian to run for the seat of Warringah in every conversation they had with journalists this week, without talking to her, coincidentally at the same as the Opposition leader was announcing his party’s major policies heading into next year’s election.

Ms Berejiklian has today 100% ruled that out, saying her life will be “much less public” from now on, and that after spending the first twenty years of her career being embroiled in the incompetence of mediocre middle aged white men at a state level, she’s in no way prepared to take on the unbridled corruption that takes place in Canberra.

“I won’t be contesting the seat of Warringah, or any other seat for that matter” said Gladys, in a radio interview this morning.

“I’m going into another different direction and I’m looking forward to the opportunities next year brings.

“I’m looking forward to a much less public life.”

Berejiklian announced her decision to quit politics in October, after it was revealed she was the subject of an investigation by the state’s corruption watchdog, a turn-of-events that shocked her voters, given her extremely positive approval ratings throughout her handling of the pandemic.

The Independent Commission Against Corruption (ICAC) is currently looking into her dealings with her disgraced former boyfriend, former Wagga Wagga MP and prominent moron Daryl Maguire.

Ms Berejiklian maintains she has always acted with integrity in her time as Premier, but says she cannot guarantee if she would be able to do that as a Federal MP.

“Look” she says.

“Federal politics is too corrupt”

“Even for me”

“Working alongside corporate shills like those idiots that brought me undone in NSW Parliament is one thing, but I wouldn’t even be able to play dumb in Canberra”

“Just look at the state of some of those men. Morrison, Taylor, Joyce, Dutton”

“I’d be the most honest one down there”


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