13 March, 2016. 13:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

While conservative West Australian political leaders begin squabbling and arguing over what went wrong during the weekend election, a One Nation candidate has quietly returned to his old life shooting pigeons at Perth’s Jandakot Airport.

Deverill Slacks, a 47-year-old avian pest control specialist from Armadale, spoke to The Advocate about his ‘devastating’ election loss and how he’s been left picking up the pieces after being promised to much.

“Pauline said I was going to be the next Troy Buswell,” said the crestfallen Cancer.

“But on election night, I barely got one percent of the vote. I’ve embarrassed myself and my family, I even got a function room to watch the count. My wife was so upset, she worked her way through a whole platter of oriental-themed finger foods before she could even look at me.”

Throwing his hat in the ring for a spot in the West Australian Upper House, Slacks was ‘all but guaranteed’ a place in the new parliament by the surging popularity of One Nation in the state.

However, things failed to go to plan for the unabridged xenophobes with spiritual leader Pauline Hanson blaming everything from the preference deal with the Liberals, to the unsuitability of candidates such as Mr Slacks.

“It was a real big pill to swallow,” said Slacks.

“I mean, ten years ago there were the same amount of birds at the airport and they’re expecting us to believe that the climate is changing? The birds are the climate. And the whole crew here used to be whitefellas, now the ground crew here are all Muslims from Christ knows where. Do you need reminding of what happens when you mix Islam with aviation?”

“Lucky I’ve got my ballistic-tipped .22-250s to turn their heads inside out if they ever try anything.”

More to come.

 

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here