ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Shadow treasurer Angus Taylor has this afternoon revealed his plan to put the nation’s lenders on bitch by telling them that people can just buy whatever property they want and the banks just have to deal with it.
The alternate government is promising to relax rules around approving home loans that it says will let more spoilt young whingers buy their first shitbox investment property and/or shitbox to live in.
The financial regulator ask banks to add a “safety buffer” when toying with someone applying for a home loan will be able to make their repayments. Currently that is set at a rate of 3 per cent above the loan interest rate.
“That’s extremely gay,” Taylor told a group of journalists in Melbourne’s inner north.
Witnesses say Taylor was dressed like a succesful grazier heading to a ram sale.
“Under a Coalition Government, there would be less of that. I think, as a man of money myself, that one big hurdle to home ownership is having to get a deposit. You know, there’s not many ways to get a deposit. You either have to work hard, which is rare, or you live with your parents while you bank your entire paycheque, you have some old relative croak respectfully at home and suddenly so their fortune hasn’t been noshed off to some glorified minimum security prison, your parents just give it to you because life is too short to save money, or uh, yeah you’re just rich as hell for some other reason, or you live in a windswept shithole like Goulburn or Mount Gambier and the houses cost fuck all,”
“We propose that say, you want to buy a flat to live in, somewhere fucking rank but close to shit. Somewhere like Parramatta. You need about a hundred to get something half decent on that 5% scheme that they have in NSW now. Under a Dutton Government, we would force banks to lend to your common park tramp, worthless junkies and unemployed people. If they can’t afford the mortgage repayments, they can just leave the key in the door and it becomes the bank’s problem,”
“Australians always pay their bills so our modelling suggests that it shouldn’t be a problem because we trust people to live within their means.”
The Advocate reached out to the Diamantina Credit Union for comment but were told it would cost $89 plus fees, so we declined.
More to come.
