As debates rage over what caused this summer’s unprecedented 4-month bushfire season, the annual tensions over Australia Day seem to be lost in the news cycle.

Some say it’s because Sunrise has decided to focus their energy on the $100M sports grants that Senator McKenzie decided to bribe marginal seats with leading into the 2019 federal election

It may also be because January 26th is taking place on a Sunday this year, so the public holiday is taking place on the 27th, meaning that no one really know which day is the one they should be talking about.

Or it could be the fact that the culture wars have been hijacked by our government’s staunch inaction on climate change in the face of one billion dead native animals a growing human death toll from this year’s bushfire season.

For the Murdoch media and similarly minded government bootlickers, the fires were not caused by the fact that Australia just experienced hottest and driest year on record, but because of a fictional collection of made-up greens councillors and non-existent state MPs who have worked tirelessly at stopping our wildly underfunded firefighters and parks rangers from engaging in Aboriginal land management practices.

One of these climate change deniers is Betoota Heights watersports retailer, Ike Cack (53) – who reckons these bloody greenies and virtue signalling snowflakes need to listen to the blackfellas about how to manage the land and that global warming is a socialist conspiracy aimed at creating money for big wind farm.

Like many voters around the country who are looking for ways to quash their deep-seated anxieties that the scientists who spend their lives studying climatic trends might actual be correct in their predictions, Ike has been vocal in pushing this ‘greenies caused this bushfires’ conspiracy online and at the dinner table.

However, Ike’s newfound love for listening to blackfellas now clashes with his historic political view that blackfellas are whingers and they have too much say over how our country is run.

“No” says a noticeably exhausted Ike.

“Listen to them when it comes to bushfires, but not when it comes to Australia Day.”

“They have a long history in managing fires in this country, and the lefties won’t listen to them. But I’m also sick of these lefties giving them too much air time on January 26!”

“They need to get over the Invasion. We are here now. But yeah, I still think we should listen to what the Murris have to say when it comes to how white people treat the bush. But yeah, I’m sick of hearing about how white people treat Murris”


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