CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the Coalition Government stares down another collapse in leadership, the Federal Opposition has today made a bold play at winning over the swinging inner-city moderate Liberal voters.
With both the Liberal Party and the National Party at each others throats about this Net Zero thing they apparently agreed upon so that Scotty could look like a future-focused world leader at Glasgow last month, it seems that blood is in the water again for a possible Libspill.
But it’s not just that Nationals who think the coal industry will last longer than the sun. The Liberal Party has fighting internally since 2009 over climate change – with droves of suburban happy clapper MPs who are willing to oust any leader who tries to suggest that burning fossil fuels at an accelerating rate for two centuries is bad for the planet.
However, with the Liberals spread very thin for talent after the post-Turnbull brain drain, it looks like the only option for a new leader would be the terrifying Defence Minister Peter Dutton – a man that would almost definitely lose half of the party’s moderate inner-city electorates to Zali Steggall-style independents.
It’s for this reason that Labor are today making their case to moderate Liberal voters, as an alternative major party that won’t make them feel ashamed about their undying thirst for the blood of renters.
Anthony Albanese MP has today made the daring trip across the Sydney Harbour Bridge to begin campaigning in electorates jam-packed with resin-jewellery draped animal rights activists who believe in climate change but also loathe the idea of single mothers being afforded government support to avoid homelessness.
With Labor still carrying the stigma of a party that fights for unwashed workers, Albo has had to be very clever about how he communicates the possible swinging voters in Brisbane’s Northside, Perth’s western suburbs, and Sydney’s North Shore.
And after walking through the high-net-worth Harbourside suburb of Mosman today in a gorgeous lace cravat, the Labor leaders seems to have nailed the pitch.
“Hello there!!!” shouted Albanese in new accent that sounds so posh that it’s bordering of British.
“I too hope that coastline of Collaroy would stop eroding into the ocean!”
“You should vote for me. Because I think that using windy rural towns as an alternative to oil and gas might prevent this”
The locals stopped to admire this chirpy young economically-conservative-socially-liberal young political upstart.
Albo then hit them with the clincher.
“I also think refugees deserve the right to asylum….”
“In suburbs far away from this one!”
At time of press, thousands of stay-at-home empty nesters from the North Shore were swearing their lifelong allegiance to the ALP, with the type of blinded loyalty only ever replicated by Dan Andrews voters.