Months after it was delivered, a 2019 Ferrari Portofino, valued at $450,000, is still sitting in the carpark at the Old Collegians Rugby Union Football Club (RUFC), after club officials admit they have no idea why they were given it or what they are supposed to do with it.

“I don’t even know where it came from,” said the Club President.

“Some lady in a Liberal Party shirt made me pose for a photo of her handing me the keys and then just left. Maybe we’ll give it away in a raffle or something”.

However, despite the fact that clubs in marginal seats seem to be getting substantially preferential treatment to those in safe seats, Club Secretary Susan says having a brand new Ferrari suddenly appear is less strange than it appears.

“I don’t know why it’s such a big deal; I mean, we are about to spend hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars upgrading our female changing facilities when we don’t even have a female team, so having a Ferrari turn up out of the blue is not that strange in that sort of context”.

In an attempt to clarify the issue and establish why the Ferrari was delivered to the club, The Advocate placed multiple calls to former politician Christopher Pyne, who was the local member when the Ferrari was delivered.

Unfortunately due to apparent technical difficulties our reporter could only hear an annoying mosquito-like noise from the telephone.

In the course of further e-mail communication, it was explained that this irritating noise was actually Christopher Pyne’s voice, however, he would not be commenting at this time, thankfully.


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