ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The former prime minister Tony Abbott today revealed to journalists that he understands that he probably can’t stop the gay marriage train from leaving the platform – but the prospect of ‘very dramatic and catty’ gay divorces in the future is ‘a bridge too far’ for the big Catholic.

Speaking to a number of local reporters at the Betoota Press Club luncheon this afternoon, the bible-thumping Sydneysider said that while he can stomach the thought of having gay people getting married and possibly coexisting heterosexual people, it’s just that he feels the nation isn’t ready for gay divorce.

“In the event of gay marriage being passed,” said Abbott.

“We need to put in place measures to make sure these ‘marriages’ go the distance and don’t end in divorce. In fact, gay divorce should be outlawed in the event of gay marriage being legalised,”

“That’s what the people want from us all. Compromise.”

After receiving his applause from the Club’s handyman and some local landowners, Abbott retired from the stage to his waiting seat beside Mayor Keith Carton, who slapped him just a little bit too hard on his back in congratulations.

The Advocate can reveal that Mr Abbott enjoyed the pork option for lunch but opted to go without the traditional apple sauce, which offended Mr Carton.

More to come.


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