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Man Who Sent 2.5 Million People To War Praised For His Subtle Criticism Of Trump

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A man who is responsible for sending 2,500,000 of his own men and women to fight in two seperate wars is being praised as a champion of human rights by those who used to hate him, after indirectly criticising someone that they seem to hate even more. Former President George W. Bush criticized the state of the U.S. politics under Donald...

Australian Living In London Shows British Friend What A Real Dust Storm Looks Like

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Brisbane finance worker on transfer in London has laughed at the worry expressed over Storm Ophelia this week as he shows his British friends what a real, Australian dust storm looks like. Flicking through images of The Great Dust Storm of 2009, Will Coleridge bragged about how natural phenomenon such as the one affecting...

Republicans Urge Trump To Stand Down After Losing Core Voters In Detroit’s Outskirts

In a move being described by many as ‘bizarre’, ‘insane’, and ‘very in-character’, Donald Trump has officially tendered his resignation from the office of President of the United States, citing the recent Eminem rap about him as the ‘final straw’. Republicans have urged Donald Trump to save face and resign immediately after being 'lit up' by Eminem during a BET...

Harvey Weinstein Hesitantly Agrees To Produce Upcoming Horror Film About His Life

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The almost scripted horror coming out of Hollywood this week has proven to be too dramatic to simply not turn into a movie, studio executives have today confirmed production is nearly underway for an upcoming horror-thriller titled 'Weinstein'. The story will be based on the life and times of "The Most Powerful Man In Hollywood" Harvey Weinstein - and...

World Shocked To Learn Weinstein Behaves Exactly Like He Looks Like He Would Behave

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The entire world is today rattled to learn that a seedy-looking old Hollywood billionaire has been accused of acting kind of seedy around female Hollywood stars. The independent film mogul Harvey Weinstein has today been sacked from the Weinsten Company amid the sexual harassment storm that has rocked Hollywood. In a statement, the Weinstein Company announced that the alleged harasser...

Wallabies Victory In Argentina This Morning Helps Sooth Local Yacht Owner’s Hangover

IMRAN GASHKORI | Editor-at-large | Contact A prominent business owner from a nice family phoned The Advocate this morning to tell of how his hangover was made much more manageable by a Wallabies victory this morning in Argentina. Jake Munro, a 23-year-old finance student, said that he and a few friends got 'a little rowdy' last night after the Betoota Gold...

Trump Proposes Travel Ban On Retirees Who Want To Shoot 600 People For No Reason

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a knee-jerk reaction to the supposed lack of motive behind the recent Las Vegas shooting, President Trump has today proposed a travel ban on all caucasian online poker-enthusiasts who feel like stocking up on machine guns and killing as many people as possible for no reason. The confirmed shooter of this week's gun massacre in Nevada appears to...

Catalans Backflip On Independence After Realising Barcelona Will Be Kicked Out Of La Liga

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet Reporter | Contact The Catalan Independence Movement drastically changed this morning as bombshell revelations came to light. The separatist movement which has long sought to break away from the Kingdom of Spain, has this morning publicly called for the whole thing to be forgotten. Only days after huge clashes between around 700,000 Catalans and police took place, the President of Catalonia Carles...

Trump Deploys Emergency Airdrop Of Republican Thoughts And Prayers To Las Vegas

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Not even a week after Donald Trump dedicated his President's Cup golfing trophy to the victims of Hurricanes in Puerto Rico, the most powerful political figure in the free world has joined his Republican colleagues in sending condolences to the victims of the largest mass-shooting in the history of the United States of America. It is believed the airdrop...

Swearing Perth Man Once Again Offers Most Articulate Explanation Of US Gun Problem

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 511,000 elected officials across America have once again failed to confront America's violent gun problem as well as a half-drunk Australian comedian did in a stand-up routine four years, and roughly 2000 massacres ago. Jim Jefferies, who's dad is a proud Western Queenslander, rose to fame in 2014 with his iconic 'Australian vs American Gun Control' skit - which...

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