World News

KENT REGINALD | Film | Contact Love Actually producer and guy who loves Christmas more than Jesus himself, Duncan Kenworthy, has today finalised a deal for his 14th house in the Bahamas. Kenworthy, in a statement released to Bahaman media, stated that his latest acquisition was all thanks to the support of his family, the grace of God, and the hundreds...

KENT REGINALD | Trains | CONTACT Millions around the world are breathing a huge sigh of relief today, after election results confirmed that only half the population of Alabama is willing to back a political candidate who has been accused of multiple child sex crimes. The result came as Democratic nominee Doug Jones beat former Judge and current alleged child sex offender Roy Moore in...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT US President Donald Trump has been accused of dealing a "death sentence" to the Northern Territory peace process by recognising Alice Spring's as Australia's capital. Leaders around the world, including US allies, have condemned the move as US embassies in the Top End and ACT prepare for potentially violent protests in the wake of the announcement. UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After spending yesterday being bumped and pushed about by the hoards of tourists in Dubrovnik, a local bloke currently on holiday in Europe has concluded that he hates tourists. Speaking to The Advocate via satellite telephone, Dennis Pooley said he and his partner have had their 'once-in-a-lifetime' trip to the set of Game Of Thrones ruined...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT While many around the country and the globe are ecstatic over the engagement of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, one young law student has been left crushed. The Australian public has been swooning over the first-hand account from the young lovers about the magic moment when Harry dropped a knee. “He proposed whilst roasting a chicken mate. Are you...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Hostel room bars and common areas are often places where young folk can meet interesting people from different countries and walks of life. However, they are also often the scene of some horrendous chat. The hostel legend or self-described 'lewse goose' is a culprit often responsible for nauseating self-indulged glorification. Usually Australian or American, the hostel legend...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The former Prime Minister has been locked in high-level talks with his mentor, the Son of God, this afternoon ahead of the results of the same-sex marriage which will be released tomorrow. Jesus of Nazareth, better known by his stage name Jesus Christ, told The Advocate that he spoke to Tony Abbott at length regarding the news tomorrow will...

KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT In a stunning turn of events, ISIS have come out and pledged to reduce carbon emissions by the year 2020, leaving the United States as the only country not committed to helping reduce the risks of environmental catastrophe. “The goal of reducing the human impact of climate change is one which is deeply close to our hearts”, said one...

KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT With the spate of sexual harassment allegations stunning Hollywood over the last few weeks, the Hollywood Reporter has confirmed today that ‘Alf Stewart' from Home and Away is now officially the last remaining male celebrity on Earth worthy of our respect and admiration. The loveable old rogue, who has been a mainstay of Summer Bay for almost 3...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Are they the same back home?" asked one of Sam Davidson's colleagues. He nods. "Yeah, but it's pretty hard to fuck up hot milk and coffee, though. However, a lot of places here seem to make a living doing it." The 27-year-old left his Betoota Ponds home shortly after graduating university and moved to The Big Apple,...