World News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 1.5 billion people living on the subcontinent are today relishing in the fact that Australians are pathetic losers with shameful convict lineage who like to cheat in cricket because we are cowards who get favoured by umpires. When including the other members of the greater Indian diaspora, it is estimated that there is roughly 1.8 billion people around...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former drummer for The Beatles, Ringo Starr, has today received the commonwealth's highest honour for his role in bringing to life a fictional universe where locomotives have the same emotions and verbal skills as humans. The 77-year-old Ringo Starr received a knighthood from Prince William, decades after his lone surviving ex-Beatle Paul McCartney was honoured. He used his real name...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Another front in Russia's war of words has roared to life today after Vladimir Putin's election victory overnight was marred by accusations the United States influenced the result. The Russian leader secured his fourth term as President with 74% of the vote, a result largely unexpected by those close to the campaign. In his victory speech...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As rugby season kicks off, it has become clear that New Zealand and France still hate each other, not just in sport, but also on both a cultural and political level. Local South Betoota scaffolder, Benji Wellington says he's not sure why there's so much beef there, but he's been raised to hate those filthy frogs - not just...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Lacking direction and purpose in life, Stephen Patridge threw caution to the wind and decided to move to London for some reason not even he can identify. The 28-year-old local even threw a farewell party at a popular French Quarter drinking hole. Despite it being on a Thursday, close to fifty of his closest mates and their partners showed up...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | CONTACT It is a known fact that if you want to get dirt on an ex-boyfriend or a new crush, your best friend is the one to find it. So well known, in fact, that America’s lead investigative body, the CIA, has begun employing 14-28 year old females to help them monitor the social media activity of terrorists. The Advocate...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Shape Of Water has come through as the surprise winner of 90th Oscar Award's Best Picture, but the real moment was when Best Actress winner Frances McDormand gave her impassioned acceptance speech, targeting the institutional misogyny in the American film industry. McDormand, who played a woman seeking justice in the dark, slightly misogynistic, comedy Three Billboards Outside Ebbing,...

KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT The United Nations has today issued a shocking statement the status of pop superstar and rejected Bond villain, Pitbull, leaving the rapper unable to use his now famous moniker, ‘Mr. Worldwide’. “It has come to the attention of the United Nations that the artist formerly and currently known as Pitbull has not been fulfilling his ambassadorial duties as THE...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In yet another blow for the Hollywood elite, the iconic 'Ellen Selfie' has today been forcibly photoshopped, after many requests from the management of each actor involved in it. In the 86th Academy Awards of 2014, prominent TV personality and ceremony host, Ellen Degenres reportedly 'broke the internet' with a mid-show gag. Prior to the introduction of the Academy Awards...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the BIMDB (Betoota Internet Movie Database) has found that it's probably time for poor old Chris O'Donnell to get cast in a major movie. Born in 1970, Chris O'Donnell is a once-pretty-famous American actor. He stared alongside Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman, D'Artagnan in The Three Musketeers, Jack Foley in the drama film Circle of Friends, Dick Grayson/Robin in Batman Forever and Batman &...