World News

Young Girl Having Opportunity To Voice Concerns Is Child Abuse, Says Pell Supporter

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Proving that a tiger can change their stripes, the nation has been charmed by how supporters of convicted pedophile George Pell are now coming out in droves to condemn child abuse. After losing support from the Catholic Church, the former cardinal and all-round rock spider George Pell had...

Australians Left Feeling Confused After Seeing A Prime Minister Do Something During A Disaster

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australians are once again feeling weirded out by New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, after she immediately addressed the nation following devastating volcanic eruption that engulfed tourists on the country's White Island. More than 20 people are still missing after the eruption rocked the two kilometre-wide island...

Disney+ To Create More Realistic Prince Who Is In Elite Paedophile Sex Ring

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Proving they are for all children, entertainment conglomerate The Walt Disney Company continues to fill their movies with the most financially viable representation possible. American Comedy icon Jo Koy joins the editors on the podcast this week before he begins the Australian leg of his world tour. Have a listen...

Unemployed Influencer Captions Latest Holiday Pic As A ‘Much Needed Break’

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local influencer Ashley Stein is spending yet another weekend in Vanuatu, courtesy of her much older boyfriend, Adam. The twenty-two-year-old has kept her followers up to date with her every move, which has so far included a day spent lounging about in a tiny bikini and drinking colourful...

“I’m All Good But Thanks Bro” Jesus Tells Kanye

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT Jesus Christ has today announced that he is distancing himself from self-proclaimed creative genius Kanye West after the release of Kanye’s latest album, ‘Jesus is King’. The album, Kanye’s first since his “Christian awakening” has received mixed reviews. In a press conference hosted by...

“Kanye’s New Album Sucks!” Says White Girl Who Just Wishes He’d Do Another Song With Maroon 5

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A early wave millennial who really enjoyed Kanye West's music before he got all black and political has today now criticised his new gospel album. She thinks that making an album like Jesus Is King is such a weird thing for the practicing Christian music producer to do.

England Fans Ecstatic After Defeating Backwater English Colony In Game That England Invented

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation of England is reportedly over the moon after winning a game they invented a while back. This comes after the English defeated the All Blacks 19-7 in one of the most dominant displays of rugby in recent times, knocking the former backwater colony out of the...

Homesick Wallabies Fan Craving A Meat Pie In Japan Chases Down Some Horse Sashimi

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A young Wallabies fan abroad has been craving a little slice of home for a few days now. So, the Queensland man named James Whitely-Smith decided to hit the streets of Tokyo and try and treat his tastes buds to something familiar. With a...

British Empire Enjoys One Last Win

BREAKING NEWS | CONTACT The British empire has enjoyed one last win today it can be confirmed. This comes after the English Rugby side beat the Wallabies 40-16. Unfortunately, the referees cannot really be blamed either.

Japanese Rugby Superfan Bak San Body Paints The Bunnies Jersey For Wallabies Game

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news out of Oita, the Japenese cult hero Bak San has just nailed his latest body paint jersey. The Japanese fan who has appeared at matches body painted in every single jersey at the tournament has today turned up in the South Sydney Rabbitohs jersey...

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