World News

JAMIE HOTTAKE | Outrage | CONTACT I wish I didn’t have to write this article. I wish I didn’t have to make a case of basic human rights in *drumroll* 2019. I wish I didn’t have to look through the inevitable dump truck fire that is going to start in this comment section and feel increased rage at every bigot who disagrees with me...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the first time since he found himself on the losing end of two leadership spills in one week, The Minister Of Home Affairs has this week bitten off more than he can chew. The Minister in charge of incarcerating refugee toddlers who are losing their baby teeth due to lack of natural sunlight and poor nutrition, appears to...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Fans of drama get ready! After years of audience speculation, several world leaders have confirmed that a sequel to the iconic Great Depression of the 1930s is underway! A studio secret for years, the news of the highly unanticipated sequel came from US President Donald Trump who accidentally tweeted it when he was really trying to use Twitter to bully...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A new report has been released by the United Nations today, with one particular finding of note. The Liveability Report ranks cities and countries in terms of how desirable they are to live in, based upon a huge range of factors including wages, infrastructure, culture etc. While Melbourne was ranked somewhere near the top (despite the fact people are...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact In an exclusive interview with The Advocate, Japanese Prime Minister, Shinzo Abe, has opened up about his biggest regret in his time as the head of the Japanese government. The revelation has emerged off the back of the current Rugby World Cup, an event that the Japanese have been preparing tirelessly for, and the very same event that the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A young Wallabies fan touring Japan has had a shocking thought today. Sipping upon a 9% Strong Zero, a popular drink made from shochu that he purchased from a humble little store on a train platform, the young man shuddered trying to imagine what would happen if this shit was allowed back home. Flying through the Japanese countryside...

LOUIS BOURKE | Editor | CONTACT During a crisis, it is commonplace for high profile figures to seek assistance from the cream of the crop, especially if the cream also has a penchant for painting their face black. Proving once again that private education is a waste of money, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is dealing with the fall out of no less than three...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Global media giants have effectively stopped reporting on the billionaire sex-trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, not even two months after his body was discovered in a prison cell in the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Manhattan. Initially breaking in heavyweight news mastheads New York Times, Washington Post and other leading daily newspapers, the media has since kind of lost interest in this story. It...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The overpopulated residents of the environmentally strained planet of Earth, are now at a loss of what to do to present concerning and urgent scientific findings to the political classes of Western Civilisation. Despite hundreds of years of warning from Indigenous populations about how the excessive burning of fossil fuels and severe deforestation might not be the most sustainable...

LOUIS BOURKE | Editor | Contact In a shocking case of animal abuse it has been confirmed today a unconfirmed number of digital domesticated animals known as Neopets have starved to death after 15 years of neglect. Most popular during the mid-naughties, Neopets.com was best known for being the thing daytime TV parents were disproportionately concerned about after Pokemon and before Fortnite. An online Tamagotchi style...