The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Dr Kennedy Wheeler owns a farm, but he doesn't know how to farm. He owns a beach house, but he doesn't know how to surf. He once owned a Toyota Landcruiser Safari, the top of the line - that was until wife Sandra wanted a Lexus, fearing the judgement of the other mothers lined up...

21 October 2016. 16:15 MERV HARRIS | Editor | CONTACT In a fantastic display of hospitality skills, Betoota man Matt Tomlinson won the highest accolade at the World Bartending Invitational held in Las Vegas last night, taking out the prestigious ‘Best Cocktail’ award, despite suffering from Parkinson’s disease. The concussion-riddled former bush rugby league great told The Advocate that he kept his condition to himself, and despite what...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IT'S NOT THAT he doesn't like his name, it's just that he'd rather have a normal one - like James or Sam. Life for Moth Stagecoach Miller (19) has been relatively normal when compared to his peers, save for one small detail. "My parents say I should be grateful for having a name that nobody else has...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact In an unprecedented move, a Perth girl has gone a whole day without talking, or at least posting about, a trip to Bali. Local man and a Facebook friend of the girl, Adam Blake made the remarkable discovery Sunday morning. "This girl I went to primary school with popped up in my newsfeed because she was tagged in a...

17 October, 2016. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact VOTED MOST LIKELY TO BECOME a wanker in his sixth form leaving class, Christian Dopants has been inspired live up to the expectation of his peers and start limbering himself up after reading The Saturday Paper, with the hopes of one day being able to perform fellatio on himself. The 44-year-old smart...

18 October, 2016. 12:01 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact FROM NEXT JUNE, FIREARM license holders in Queensland and New South Wales may be required to have a tattoo of the Southern Cross constellation on their face to make them more easily identifiable in public. In the interests of public safety, urban gun owners are staring down the barrel of having their...

16 October, 2016. 11:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A SUNSHINE COAST JUDGE IS under police protection this weekend after explosive scenes at the Maroochydore Magistrates Court on Friday afternoon as a local man lost his memes in a divorce settlement. Marcus Brett Peanut (48) was found in contempt of court after threatening to slit the throat of Justice Michael Bryce as...

13 October, 2016. 17:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact CLARK DONALDSON'S EYES WIDENED, then rolled back into his head. His left side tingled and he was short of breath. Calling out to his wife, he found he couldn't even say speak her name. Though his gasping and coughing was enough to raise her attention, she found her husband face down in the living...

13 October, 2016. 17:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IN A FIT OF NOSTALGIA, a local Pedestrian.tv content producer scrawled a quote by immortal American folk musician, Woody Guthrie, across the lid of his work laptop. This Machine Kills Fascists. He did it not to spite his employer, or to make a statement as he walks through the office with his head...

13 October, 2016. 10:03 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact AUSTRALIAN TENNIS PRODIGY NICK Kyrgios has bowed out of the Shanghai Masters overnight and into a firestorm of malicious accusations, with some commentators accusing him of "tanking". The 21-year-old capitulated in 48 minutes, 6-3 6-1 in the second round at the hands of 110th-ranked qualifier Mischa Zverev. Following the shock defeat, the Canberra...